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Petittion for "Dope" Tatto Removal

To/Against/For: redflagquattro

Dear "redflagquattro,"

I, the undersigned, hereby petition you, redflagquattro, to remove the tattoo, henceforth referred to as "Dope," on the inner bicep of your left arm. As has been mentioned, proliferated, texted, sexted, and spread like a bad venereal disease across many online forums, websites, blogs, and internet-based appliances, I personally feel that while you can do anything [legal] to your body while it is in your possession you should not have received a tattoo of "dope," especially when resembling an Audi logo. Further, I do not want to see a faded, dead-meme, poser-stamp on you. While it may be heartwarming to know that you must walk around explaining your "dope" tattoo to passers-by who will then learn of your foolishness, I implore you to do yourself a favor and have it immediately removed.

In signing this Petition for "Dope" Tattoo Removal I agree with the following punishments and justifications to be carried out by the populous of the intarwebz and all of its constituents at the earliest convenience.

We, the Intarwebz, find the only fair and just punishment(s) to be:

[ ] a swift throttling.

[ ] getting Rick-rolled.

[X] Pure N00b Pwnag3.

[X] ridicule.

[ ] the destruction of Alderaan.

[ ] water-boarding.

[X] fighting in the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.

[X] facepalm.

[ ] "shock and awe."

[X] banishment to Candy Mountain.

[ ] the destruction of Tokyo.

[X] a tar and feathering.

[X] a personalized motivational poster.

[X] re-education.

Furthermore, we deem the aforementioned punishment suitable for "Dope," also known as "redflagquattro," for the following offence(s):

[X] Poser attitude.

[X] Shenanigans.

[ ] Drug usage.

[X] Lack of self-control.

[ ]  Risque attire.

[ ] Impersonating Sammy Stephens.

[X] Lack of self-respect.

[X] Lack of respect for the internet.

[X] Insufficient ponies.

[ ] Being paranoid.

[X] Being stupid.

[ ] Redundantly being redundant.

[X] Cruelty to animals.

[ ] OMG COUGARS!!!2!

[X] Being an attention whore.

[X] Posting an image on the web.

[ ] "Just" walking into Mordor.

[O] Having a social networking ID at one of the following:

[ ] MySpace.

[X] Facebook.

[X] Wasting time.

[ ] Linking to Dramatic Chipmunk without prior authorization.

[O] Making the following groups look bad worse:

[ ] Korean car owners.

[X] Chinese-knock-off car owners.

[ ] American car owners.

[X] Russian car owners (no seriously).

[ ] Honda/Acura owners.

[ ] Toyota/Lexus owners.

[ ] BMW owners.

[X] VW/Audi/Porsche owners.

[ ] Mercedes owners.

[ ] Exotic car owners.

[ ] Pilots.

[X] Posers.

[X] Ricers.

[ ] Intellectuals.

[ ] The French.

[ ] communists and Socialists.

[ ] Dictators and terrorists.

[X] Tattoo artists.

[X] Weekend racers.

[X] Lindsay Lohan fans.

In the future please try the following techniques to resolve your dilemma quickly and without making a scene:

[ ] doing a burnout.

[ ] doing a barrel roll.

[ ] fasting.

[X] finding adult supervision.

[X] duct taping yourself to a wall.

[ ] finding help on the internet.

[X] praying to Chuck Norris.

[X] riding on a pony.

[X] staying away from alcohol, tobacco, firearms, and narcotics.

[X] going back to the past.

[ ] going back to the future.

[ ] learn 2 spell.

[ ] getting bifocals.

[X] reading a book.

Sincerely yours,

Teh Intarwebz and Below Signed

Petittion for "Dope" Tatto Removal was created and written by Aelwyn von Meowboxen This petition is hosted here at www.MyOnlinePetition.com as a public service. There is no endorsement of this petition, express or implied, by www.MyOnlinePetition.com or our sponsors.

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Petittion for "Dope" Tatto Removal

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Petittion for "Dope" Tatto Removal

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