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Socialism In Casinos GROUP WINNINGS
To/Against/For: casinos and conservatisma campaign for socialism:
with this letter, i am forming a nationwide coalition to further my cause. with this letter, i am asking casinos to embrace socialism. with this letter, i am asking college students to jump on the bandwagon. with this letter, i am standing for equality and fairness. this is a letter to the editor, this is a letter to the masses, this is a letter to life.
my name is dylan, i run a website called dylansbraininjury.com, i went through a \\\"traumatic brain-injury\\\" (or \\\"tbi\\\") on june 24, 1990 - seven days after seeing madonna\\\'s \\\"blond ambition world tour\\\" at the spectrum in philadelphia. though i live off monthly annuity distributions and the lump sums that come to me twice a decade, i can assure you that I AM NOT NEARLY AS RICH AS A WALL STREET BANKER. i don\\\'t even consider myself \\\"rich,\\\" there are many things i want that i simply cannot afford. i cannot afford heating bills to keep my pool 75 degrees in the winter - though the greenhouse keeps the water from freezing, i would really like to run the heater so that i wouldn\\\'t have to swim in a scuba-suit. i just can\\\'t afford a heated pool and i want one. and i want socialism.
i am on a quest to further the reach of socialism, i realized the importance of socialism after having squandered $10,000 (plus atm fees) within two or three months at a few different casinos. sure, i had wins here and there, nothing over $1,000 and nothing big enough to make up for the money i had already lost. all of those small winnings were gambled away.
slot machines are not \\\"money pits,\\\" contrary to popular belief, there are some big winners at slot machines. \\\"big winners,\\\" as in winning over ten thousand dollars. these big winners are even advertised on casinos\\\' websites. now, much like martin luser king jr, i have a dream - my dream is to be winning. WINNING - just like all those pictures of gamblers who won over $10,000 on slots. WINNING - just like charlie sheen.
now, to proceed with my campaign: if the winnings of all of the people at one casino were shared, meaning a $10,000 jackpot earned by one would be given to all casino-goers equally, this would be fair. such a thing could easily be done with a \\\"players card\\\" - when somebody hits a $10,000 jackpot then all of the of the gamblers\\\' cards at the casino would be credited. not just the card of the person at the winning slot machine.
just as there are \\\"blond ambitionless\\\" people doing their best to \\\"occupy wall street,\\\"those who either gave up on or never tried achieving greatness, there are casino-goers who are just as apathetic - casino-goers who waste their money in hopes of hitting it big. both types of people would be happy with socialism, with easy money, easy reward with little effort. i think we\\\'d all agree that taking redistributive logic from the \\\"occupy wall street\\\" crowd and applying it to casinos would keep gamblers from feeling like lusers while at the same time saving their self-esteem. i know i wouldn\\\'t be $10,000 in the hole if casinos would have redistributed, and i know my self-esteem would have been saved. yes, i am a wreck now - all because the lack of redistribution at casinos made me be responsible for myself at casinos. if i\\\'m put in front of a slot-machine at a casino that doesn\\\'t redistribute, i\\\'m on my own with no winnings but my own. and with only my own winnings, i lost big in three months - i didn\\\'t have to. my self-esteem could have been saved if the casinos would have practiced redistribution.
incidentally, saving self-esteem is very important - especially in a society which celebrates the luser known as the masculivoid. a masculivoid is a \\\"man\\\" who leaves himself feeling incomplete as a man without another man (a better man?) in his life. saving self-esteem is very important to gays, because once you\\\'ve lost the respect for yourself as a member of your own gender, you\\\'ll take any remnant of self-respect that you can find. to go a step further, i will say that by redistributing gamblers\\\' winnings, casinos will be helping gay gamblers in their quest to feel better about themselves - by redistributing gamblers\\\' winnings, casinos may even get gays feeling worthy enough to stop trying to facilitate a sense of worthiness by throwing a parade with a thousand other genderivoids. \\\"strength in numbers, we express our plights as right,\\\" to take a lyric from a gay anthem i wrote as a parody of \\\"rhythm nation\\\" in 1999 (there are over 600 parodies at my site, as well).
by redistributing gamblers\\\' winnings, casinos also will be helping feminists\\\' self-esteem by giving them a feeling of triumph that may take away from their omnipresent feelings of self-dissatisfaction that stem from widening hips and bleeding vagina-holes and leaky milk-jugs. i propose that if casinos would embrace socialism, wombn will not lose enough money to feel depressed. they will feel equal to men, in spite of their bodies being designed for pink barbells and compromised military requirements and handicapped parking spaces and, well, motherhood.
in closing, i will restate the crux of my blond ambition: REDISTRIBUTE WINNINGS AT THE CASINO! REDISTRIBUTE WINNINGS AT THE CASINO! REDISTRIBUTE WINNINGS AT THE CASINO!
with this letter, i am forming a nationwide coalition to further my cause. with this letter, i am asking casinos to embrace socialism. with this letter, i am asking college students to jump on the bandwagon. with this letter, i am standing for equality and fairness. this is a letter to the editor, this is a letter to the masses, this is a letter to life.
dylan terreri, i
www.dylansbraininjury.com
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